UNMARRIED... SO?

At every family gathering, I have three responsibilities. 

1. Greet the family. 

2. Eat jollof rice. 

3. Defend my life choices 

Like clockwork, it never failed. 

I would barely sit down before Aunty Ene snuck up on me like a sore throat and asked the usual question. 

'When are we getting aso-ebi'?" With that fake smile of hers.. 

Argh

"Soon, Aunty", I always said. With a fake smile of my own. 

Only.. No one knew when 'soon' was, and if I'm being honest with myself, neither do I. 

At my age.. I have a stable job, a thriving side gig, rent paid, good friends, and blood pressure that rose everytime I heard 'any good news? ' from my family. 

To them.. Good news meant one thing. Marriage. 

Not my promotion, or something exciting I did, or the fact that I'm finally ticking my bucket lists without looking at my account balance. 

No. It was always marriage. 

Uncle Ikechukwu, or Uncle Iyke as I like to call him, walked up to me with a glass of wine in his hand and a genuine smile across his face.

There was concern in his eyes. 

"You know they mean well. You have to stop being selective, men are scarce"

I felt disappointed that they had roped him into this crusade, because him, I actually liked. 

But 'men are scarce'? Please.. 

There were at least 8 male non-family members here. And half of them were playing draft.

Wait.. Why are there so many male non-family-members at a 3 year-old's birthday party? 

Shoot!!! This was a set up! 

I needed to escape somehow but. How? 

Like a man on cue, someone started walking towards me with 2 glasses. If I was going to slip out of here, it had to be NOW. 

I found my way out of the backyard into the kitchen and just as I was unlocking my car, I hear a voice behind me. 

"Going somewhere?" 

.. To be continued