NWOK'OMA..YOU MATTER TOO ❤

Men's Mental Health Awareness Month

Heavyweight Champion: The glorified burden of manhood. 

Whenever the topic of manhood comes up, you can trust that there are thousands of opinions and thoughts about the concept. Majority of which are under the umbrella of responsibility and burden-carrying. 

I mean it has been so from the time immemorial. Adam was cursed to toil the land and reap in sweat, which indirectly signified struggle and responsibility. 

But let's bring this to the present, shall we?

Adam is gone, Jesus has come. But somehow many still identify more with the curse of Adam's struggles than the freedom and rest that Jesus brings. And hardwired into their brains is the impulse to struggle and suffer, especially alone. 

Who is a Man? 

A MAN is an adult male child. Period. 

But a man is also a son, a brother, 

À husband, a father

An employee, a colleague, an employer

A labourer, a service provider, 

A friend, a homie, a neighbor. 

Did I miss anything? 

This is who a man is to everyone else. Because truly, he has a responsibility to each and everyone of them. 

To take care of them.

To love them.

To cater. 

To provide.

To support.

To protect.

To be present. 

But who is a man outside of his responsibilities? 

Society is to be blamed for its redefinition of who a man is. 

The unfair expectations placed on the shoulders of a human who's just trying to find happiness and his footing at the same time is appalling. 

From family expectations to random people feeling entitled to time and resources. 

"ARE YOU NOT THE MAN" is usually the response to his cry for help when he speaks up about his exhaustion. 

"BUT YOU ARE MY SON. THE MAN OF THE HOUSE" is what he hears when he suggests that a layer of weight be lifted off of his shoulders. 

Pressure ti wà. Pressure to not let down family, friends, work, and sometimes even strangers. 

Forced to put on a persona of perfection. 

"I dey alright my guy"

"I'm fine"

"I go run am"

Even when their feet are 10 feet deep in mud and they can barely move, they still offer to help wipe the smudge off your face. 

HIS SHOULDERS

Slouched and hunched from bearing the weight of the world.

His chest

Muscular and chiseled from 'chesting' every bill that's crosses his proverbial desk. 

His arms💪

Ripped and tough from lifting everyone when they fall, bearing them up over his head so they don't drown even when the water is at his waist level. 

His mind 🧠

Constantly reeling from all the goals that need to be achieved. Potentials that need to be reached. Debts that need to be paid. 

His heart ❤

His heart is heavy with unsaid words, unshed tears, unhealed wounds and ill-addressed trauma. 

AND STILL YOU ASK HIM TO HOLD IT ALL IN?? 

AND STILL YOU BULLY HIM FOR EXPRESSING EXHAUSTION? 

AND STILL YOU SHAME HIM FOR HIS HARD TIMES? 

AND STILL YOU TAUNT HIM FOR SHEDDING LIBERATING TEARS OF LONGING AND SORROW? 

DOES THE XY CHROMOSOME AUTOMATICALLY ERASE OR ABSORB PAIN? 

DOES IT NEGATE THE WORK OF THE LACRIMAL GLANDS? 

Whewwww... 

Dear Men.. 

This is not an empty cry of sympathy or 'eye-service'. 

This is an overdue recognition of your labour, your hard work, and your resilience. 

Your heart towards everyone. 

Your responsibility towards the known and unknown. 

Your wading through life with little to no support. 

Well done!  👏

Well done!! 👏👏

You should pat yourself on the back everyday and give you a little wink of approval each time you catch your reflection in a mirror. 

You find shaid

Because... Nna.. YOU TOO MUCH!! 

You see ehhnn.. The world will move on if you kpai today. Bitter truth but needed to be said. 

No let anybody over use you ooo... 

You no dey be say you no dey.. 

You no get be say you no get... 

You no fit be say you no fit.. 

Police no dey catch person put. 

Everywhere you go, something is waiting for you.. 

Work. School. Family. Even police won't let you be at peace. 

You deserve Comfort. Companionship. Rest. And genuine joy. 

Affection, Appreciatiion, Attention. 

To those that have it already from their spouses, congratulations! Your burdens are bearable and shared. 

To those who are yet to find it, congratulations.. You are on the way there. 

But know this.. Hold your ears 👂👂

> you are not obligated to overextend beyond your capacity. 

> strangers are not entitled to the fruits of your labor. 

> when you feel overwhelmed.. Express yourself with trusted listeners who offer zero judgement. 

Please and please.. You will not add to the suicide statistics!! 🙏🙏

Your voice, your life.. Your health.. Your sanity. You matter! 

Don't let entitled people make you forget that genuine people exist. 

Never look down on yourself in your trying times. 

Your worth is beyond what you offer or bring to the party. 

Your presence, your value, yourself.. Is substance enough as long as it is correct. 

This JUNE... 

❤I'm reminding you of how special you are to me.. 

❤I'm thanking you for every time you showed up for yourself and for others. 

❤I'm reminding you that when all ia said and done.. YOU.. LAST MAN STANDING.. 

❤I'm reminding you that it's okay if you don't have it all figured out yet. 

❤I'm reassuring you that you are an impeccable human and we are blessed to have you. 

❤I'm reminding you that it's okay to have emotions and express them. It doesn't reduce your masculinity. 

NWOKE OMA(Good man) ... YOU MATTER. 

So don't ever be too afraid or proud to speak up in the time of need or overwhelm. 

Happy Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. 

And I hope you find true friendship. True love. And true peace. 

I love you❤️

✍️ Dear Itohan