SUBTLE ART OF LETTING GO

No, this isn't about relationships.. I pride myself in being a nurturer. Someone who cares for everyone, and it's not just bragging rights, I really am. And on top of that, I take communication very seriously. 

For someone who grew up not feeling attached to anyone in my family or constantly feeling out of place, when I got older and made friends who actually liked me in ways where I did not need to try to earn it, it meant a lot to me. 

Note that I had always had to be extra good, quiet, meek, extra caring and basically do something to earn whatever love I thought I deserved my whole other life, so when I met people who simply loved me for me, it was refreshing. However then came the fear. 

That they would realize that there was nothing to love there and leave. What did I do? I began to stretch. Nurturing was already second nature so I didn't even have to try. It came to me. I did the reaching out, the texting, cared extra. I got really attached to these certain people. 

As I grew older and life began to life, these people grew, moved, and moved on. But I held on. We didn't see for years, but I held on to the memories that we had, and I would reach out, they did not. Weeks turned into a month and before I knew it, they went for 4 to 6 months without communication. 

Yet, I would remember them and reach out. But you know what I realized recently? 

I realized that I had a terrible habit of holding on to memories of people who I thought would be with me forever. People who I believed were important in my life, before understanding that because they are part of my past doesn't mean they have a spot in my present, perhaps in the future, or not. And that's okay. 

I could not accept that they were only there for a season. 

I could not let go. 

But I learnt, and I learned now that it's okay to walk away, no enmity. Just realization that we are both in different phases in our lives where we don't need each other. Reminisce on those moments, send a thoughtful prayer, but I stopped reaching out, and it's been months of zero communication. 

Because I realized that I was the only one carrying the friendship. I was pouring and pouring and was blind to the fact they didn't need me anymore. It hurts, but who said Adulting would be easy? It's a vital aspect of growth. Letting go. Shedding. 

For if I continue to hold on to that, I'll lose sight of those who are ACTUALLY present in my life while I'm busy chasing memories. 

Will I stop nurturing? Nope. It's not what I do. It's who I am. 

So to you dear adults, learn how to walk away, especially when you realize that you are the only one on that boat. It's for the good of every one involved. And you'll be fine. I'll be fine. We'll be fine. Because there are people in our present. And there'll be people in our future. 

Let it go.. Let it fizzle out. You got this. I'm rooting for you. 

STOP TRYING TO GIVE PERMANENT POSITIONS TO TEMPORARY PEOPLE


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