ITOHAN'S LITTLE CORNER ✍️

Growing comes in different ways.  Coming from a people pleasing first born child who craved validation her whole life and only believed that love was earned by sacrificing herself and her wants just to make others happy, growing up means that she gives 80% of herself, her money, her time to others and neglects herself.  Basically, self-erasure So this lady finds it difficult to do things for herself and thought it selfish or improper, but as soon as her family calls and needs something, she goes running, bending backwards, to please them.  Because she had grown to believe that her worth was tied to how useful she was to them and how much she was willing to bend and break to please them. The 'appreciation' and joy that came from pleasing them gave her fulfilment and made her feel useful, validated and relevant.  But afterwards, she was always miserable, feeling empty and terrible for neglecting herself and prioritizing others above her own needs. Emotional, financial ...

 SHE WAS AN ACCIDENT It wore her down every time she thought about the fact that she was not conceived and born intentionally, or to two people who loved each other enough to stay together.  It ruined her self worth, saddled her with inferiority complex, because each time she looked in the mirror, she saw a blend of two worlds that mixed but refused to meet.  No. Not like the Gulf of Alaska.  'I'm not worthy, nobody wanted me, I'm just an inconvenience', was the mantra that her subconscious had planted, rooted firmly and it followed her.  Into her jobs, relationships, she never felt enough for anyone, not even herself.  Nothing anyone ever said to her made a difference, the person she needed to convince was herself and the only person who could convince her was, well..  Herself.  And then she brushed herself off. Stood before a wall and realized that as much as she was not in control of how she came into the world, she was however in control of ho...

People-pleasing is one of those habits that hides in plain sight. On the surface, it looks like kindness, helpfulness, and being the "reliable one." But beneath it often lies anxiety, exhaustion, and a quiet erasure of self. If you've ever found yourself constantly bending to the will of others, even when it hurts you, you're not alone. Here's how people-pleasing might be showing up in your life—and why it's time to choose you: 1. You Struggle to Say “No” Even when something clashes with your values, your schedule, or your peace of mind, you still say yes. Why? Because you don’t want to be seen as unreliable or unsupportive. You’re afraid of being the one who "wasn’t there" for someone—even if being there means sacrificing yourself. 2. You Feel Uneasy Without Attention It may feel minor, but when people pull away or go quiet, your mind spirals. You start wondering what you did wrong. “Did I upset them?” “Are they ignoring me on purpose?” The silence ...

  The Power of Appreciation: Why Gratitude Should Never Be Negotiated Appreciation isn't something that should be negotiated. It isn’t a favor, nor is it optional. It’s a fundamental expression of humanity, decency, and maturity. When someone goes out of their way to show you kindness—whether big or small—the least you can do is offer heartfelt appreciation. Let’s be honest: we live in a time where entitlement is dressed up as boldness, and ingratitude is often masked as "keeping it real." But there's nothing bold or real about disregarding the effort someone made to be good to you. That 2,000 Naira you received from a friend or colleague? You may scoff and think, "Just 2,000 Naira?" But do you know what it took for them to give you that? Do you know how many hours they worked, how many sacrifices they made, or how tight their own budget is? Even if someone picked the money from the ground and handed it to you, even if the gift came in the form of kind words...

  The Rain Means Different Things The downpour of rain means a lot to different people. To some, it's a promise of swamps and floods, of tears and fears. To others, it's a sign of fruitful harvests and bountiful prospects. And for some, it's the perfect excuse to be cozy and curled up indoors. But to me… Rain is my therapy. The feel of the cold breeze that precedes the rain sends happy chills through my body. The sound of raindrops on my roof is rhythmic to my ears—like the joyful drums of victory after a long, hard battle. So I step out into the blissful showers. Each drop reminds me that I am present, grounded in the now, becoming who I am meant to be. The rain washes away my pain and quiets my thoughts. It fills me with hope—that no matter how dry or barren life may seem, there is always a promise of rain... Of showers... Of cool. What does rain signify for you?